


The Real Sam Winchester

by analogDemon



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, au: none of it was real, its a little upsetting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-13
Updated: 2013-06-13
Packaged: 2017-12-14 21:16:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/841475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/analogDemon/pseuds/analogDemon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU in which the events of the entire show are only a series of daydreams from a sad and lonely teenage Sam Winchester.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Real Sam Winchester

**Author's Note:**

> I'm Sorry.

The Winchesters had been through it all together. Life, death, heaven, hell, and even the dark places in between. They fought the good fight until the world came crashing down around them, and then they picked up the pieces and started it all over. But in the end no one would know about their heroics or their struggle to stay whole. No one would ever know their triumphs or their failures, because in the end none of it was real, and it never would be. The supernatural world of angels, demons, leviathans, and trickster gods came from the imagination of a mentally unstable teenage boy.

Sam’s real brother had never been. Dean Winchester was a late-term miscarriage from which, Sam’s mother never truly recovered. His father, John, was an absentee and a drunk. He never beat Sam or his mother, but that was the only honorable thing about him. He was a mechanic at a local body shop and spent most of his day there, or at a dive called “the roadhouse.” After awhile he just stopped coming home, and it wasn't much of a surprise to Sam.

From an early age Sam learned to fend for himself. His broken home life and avoidant-personality disorder didn't earn him many friends in the real world, but cleared the way for his active imagination to weave a beautiful and dangerous tapestry. One where he was a hero with a big brother and something to fight for, instead of an underweight maladjusted teen stuck in Kansas with no one but his neurotic mother. 

He often thought about what she must have been like before she lost Dean. He could see, past the wrinkles and worry lines, how she would have been beautiful in her youth, but hard living had taken it’s toll. She had taken to heavy drinking and smoking to cope with her emotional instability and she spent most of her long days working in their one stop hick town’s singular gas station. She could often be found leaning behind the counter, her body contorted to an angle that allowed her to catch wind from the only fan in the establishment and a view of a small mounted television. Her skeletal frame was accentuated by the baggy ‘stop-n-go’ uniform and the lifeless bleach blonde hair she had been sporting since the late 80’s. Sam loved her but he knew he was a trigger for her. Often he thought about leaving for her sake, but considering he had no friends or prospects, he always ended up staying home.

His therapists (when they could afford them) always told Sam he needed to try to work on his self-worth. “Join a club, reach out to your classmates!” or “I know this is hard Sammy but you have just got to try.” Sam would only sit staring vacantly into the carpet trying to define faces in the neutral toned fibers. He knew he was broken beyond repair and their genuine concern only sounded like condescension in his ears.

When he wasn't drifting his way through the halls of his high school he was usually locked in his bedroom dreaming himself a better life. Some part of him knew it was an unhealthy coping mechanism but he didn't listen, he instead, created a long and convoluted narrative about what he liked to assume was his life in some alternate dimension. One where he was a demon hunter, a brother, a lover. If he had the confidence in himself to write any of it down it could have become a very popular series; but Sam had been programmed his whole life to believe he was worthless. In the back of his mind he did hope things would change for him, and one day they would; but it would come to him at a great price.


End file.
